It’s hard, isn’t it? Having everything you know function one way for so long and then suddenly you have to move, a loved one passes away, your friend betrays you, you lose your job; I mean, the list is literally endless. And it doesn’t have to be something nearly that big to make us resist: a phone update, a new hairstyle, or a character leaving a TV show can send us right over the edge.
What is it about change that automatically sends up all of our shields, doing everything they can to keep it as far away as possible?
It’s been my experience that I can resist something with all of my strength, but all it does is make the inevitable transition that much harder. So why do we linger in resistance instead of learning to re-position?
Change is like getting out of bed in the morning. You can lay there under the covers as long as you like, but that doesn’t mean your obligations go away. All it does it make your day harder because you’ve given yourself less time to complete your tasks. Likewise, if we accept change sooner rather than later, we give ourselves more time to adjust to the new reality smoothly. The alternative is to hide under the covers for the rest of our lives–which means no food, no coffee and no internet, and who wants that?
In an attempt to cut down that wasted time between the new becoming the normal, here are four questions to ask yourself the next time you’re faced with change:
- What are you afraid of? Seriously, think about it; write it down; work it out. Resisting change is ultimately about fearing something new, so what is that for you? If you can logically work your way through the possibilities, you might find what you’re fearing could never even take place. D31:6 || J1:9 || P27:1
- How can you grow? I think it’s safe to say we’re glad we’re no longer in diapers, right? When certain things change in our lives, it produces growth that is clearly in our best interests. The reality is, that opportunity is available for us in all moments of change; we just need to pay attention to see it. Yes, even in moments of change that are heartbreaking, an opportunity arises for beneficial growth. R5:3-4 || J1:2-4
- Where are your priorities? It’s in those times when stability is no longer certain that we are able to best see what we care about most. These moments as a gift. Step back and evaluate what’s most important in your life; perhaps you’ll find that change is no longer a big deal. If it still is, congratulations; you’ve found one of your high priorities. Are other people involved? Let them know how important they are so you can all grow together through the changes. L12:34 || M6:33
- Who is in your kitchen? I bet you weren’t expecting that question, right? There’s a phrase I loved from the moment I heard it: “refrigerator rights.” Basically, who in your life is close enough to you that they could walk right into your house, go into your kitchen, and rummage through your fridge without you ever thinking it’s odd? You’ve given those people ‘refrigerator rights’ in your life. Hopefully, you’ve chosen wisely. When all else fails and you’re still struggling with change, let those closest to you into the fray. They’re in your life to support and encourage you through the tough times. People are relational; we’re simply not meant to go through life without each other. P13:20 || J15:13
Why do we linger in resistance instead of learning to re-position?
What do you think of these questions? What kinds of changes do you resist most? Are you still having trouble seeing what the positives are in your change? Sometimes it’s easier for someone outside of the situation to spot them; if you’d like to share, I’d love to help!