Here I sit, the dimming light of another day fading through my blinds. Rubbing the strain from my eyes after hours of staring at a pixelated screen that often holds more pain than joy. I exhale deeply, check the clock, and notice the date. Two weeks. It’s been almost two weeks since I’ve reached out to the few of you interested enough to click “follow” on my blog. Who really cares? Why are you being so dramatic that you didn’t post something on your worthless blog for barely a handful of people to see? Do those people even read what you write anyway? Probably just to see an example of how not to write… Stupid chatterbox. Always trying to get in the way of what God’s doing; of simple things that are much more than they appear.
This blog serves many purposes for me at the moment. Most importantly I think, as an act of discipline and obedience to God. He has blessed me with an ability and a passion to write; I need to honor those gifts. If I continue to let them be something I don’t really hold tightly, I will never be able to fulfill my full calling from Him. Discipline is step one in embracing this change. I have set a goal to write in this at least once a week, which is a lot coming from a girl who would write approximately once a month for a while, before waiting two silent years to pick up again. It’s easier to stay in the rhythm you’ve created than to change course. It takes intentional practice to start new routines and break from the old.
While I have unfortunately neglected putting pen to paper, or in this case fingers to keys, I have been doing a lot of learning in these past two weeks. I find that I learn the most about myself, or whatever lesson God is working through me, when I have some quiet time to assess. The only problem is, I was not wired to go willingly to a place of rest. I think God makes us that way intentionally though: we have to fight against what we naturally gravitate toward so we can hear from Him. That way we are constantly realizing we cannot rely on our own strength.
The biggest thing I have learned so far seems so simple, but it has impacted how I plan to move forward in my life in so many ways: own it. Has God given you a talent? Own it. Has He called you for something and you don’t think you’re capable? Own it. Are you afraid to make a big change in your life? Own it. Will this decision be the right one? Own it. If you’re living with your heart open to God, and allowing Him to guide your steps, don’t go hesitantly. Dive in. Jump. Fly. Hesitance and half-heartedness is from Satan. Jesus’ disciples were only those who said yes, got up, and went. There was no second thought. Those who showed even an ounce of attachment to anything beyond Him, never got the chance to experience that level of intimacy with the Lord.
I’ve spent my entire life being weighed down by the limitations of the world, when the reality is that God makes all things possible. We’ve all heard this but we need to listen with our hearts. Knowing something without putting it to use is just a waste of time. I have a master’s degree. Do I have a job that requires me to use it? No. All it is, was a lot of anxiety and a pile of loans I may someday be finished paying off. If we don’t put these things we know to use, they will only become a burden! God makes all things possible. How much does that thought weigh you down in the midst of your storm when you see that tidal wave approaching and no rescue in sight? It pains your soul to think God doesn’t see you. But maybe, if you had remembered that thought when someone asked for a few dollars to have food for the night and you said no because that would make your cable bill late, you would have had the perspective to see the break in the waves carved specifically for you. Own the things God asks of you and you will own the blessings that go with them. It’s a relationship; it goes both ways.
Is God calling you to do something that seems impossible? That’s how my life feels. I feel called to write a book. Maybe many books. He has placed a timeline on my heart and let me tell you, God saying I will have a full manuscript by February seems nothing short of impossible. But you know what? God can do anything. I just need to own my calling and let Him do the rest. If I let Him guide me, the impossible will become reality. And that is how God gets all the glory. Anything short of impossible means we can do it in our own strength. Step out of reality as you know it. Own your calling. Do the impossible. And give God all the glory.